27th January, 2007 – T-Club, Oberhausen, Germany

In 1985, Firebird (the games division of British Telecom) published a cassette for the ZX Spectrum entitled Don’t Buy This: Five of the Worst Games Ever – essentially a compilation of terrible video games sent to the publisher by amateur coders. Reviews were universally negative and critics were unsure as to how to actually review this considering it was marketed as a collection of bad games. Despite this – it was one of the more commercially successful budget games of the year.

In 2020, wXw released a show on their on demand service advertised as “the worst wXw show of all times.” Twitter goes wild with excitement and the fans, reviewers & journalists of the European wrestling world scramble to their computers to watch this. Negative advertising works!

The show opens to a poorly lit Thomas Giesen. “Hallo und herlzlich wilkomme-(HORRIBLE FEEDBACK)” Here we go.

MATCH ONE: IPW:UK Tag Team Title: Swiss Money Holding (Ares & Marc Roudin) (c) vs. 2 Violent (2Face & Violent Tom)

Most people should be familiar with Swiss Money Holding but 2 Violent are a new pairing for me. Both guys worked extensively for wXw until the early 2010s when they retired – although strangely 2Face resurfaced with NextStep Wrestling in Dresden last summer. Anyway, this match is a bit of a clunker and I have increasing fears about the rest of the show. 2 Violent work at an absolute snails pace and don’t seem to have any urgency about them at all. I don’t think Swiss Holding were ever world-leading but it’s obvious which of the teams were more travelled. Ares gets the win after Roudin is Styles Clashed onto Tom.

MATCH TWO: wXw Tag Team Title: Murat Bosporus & Wesley Croton (c) vs. Absolute Andy & Josh Abercrombie

Don Jakobi comes out for this match and he’s confronted by Croton and Bosporus, who are then confronted by two masked men in hoodies. The match begins and the larger of the two masked men shoulder blocks Bosporus – distracting the referee whilst the other whacks Croton with some brass knuckles, enough for a pinfall. The new champions remove their masks to reveal themselves as Absolute Andy and Josh Abercrombie – the latter of which making his debut (and sole appearance in wXw!). The crowd demand a rematch!

MATCH THREE: Adam Polak vs. Andrew Patterson

Andrew Patterson is a Dutch wrestler from the early days of their scene. It initially looked like he was suffering from a spot of Tommyenditus but Andrew Patterson is actually his shoot name so he gets a pass. I’d never seen him work before but he’s a very emotive and entertaining wrestler and the comedy stuff works remarkably well against the straight man of Adam Polak. This match wasn’t too bad. Polak gets an easy win from a backdrop suplex.

MATCH FOUR: Adam Polak vs. James Mason

Polak grabs the microphone after his match with Patterson and moans that he hasn’t got a title shot on this show and challenges James Mason for number one contendership. Mason is out and we’ve got a match. This is a typically brilliant Mason performance and he forensically dismantles Polak – getting a very quick and squeaky clean cradle pin for the win. *chef kiss*

MATCH FIVE: Emil Sitoci vs. Bad Bones

Neither of these need much introduction. Sitoci looks exactly the same as he does now whilst Bones is in the giant killer baby stage of his career. This one is a bit of a bore in all honesty. Midway through the match an audience member shouts “somebody do something!” and that’s a fairly good summary of this. It’s a fitting end to a match where absolutely nothing happens when Sitoci hits Bones with a big boot for a double count out.

MATCH SIX: SUWA & Vries Kastelein vs. Tengkwa & Tommy End

Pro Wrestling NOAH’s SUWA is out next in what would be his final full-time year in the business barring a short run in 2013. This match seemingly ended up being the last ever match for his partner Vries Kastelein – who as far as I can tell now works as a radio DJ back in the Netherlands. Kastelein isn’t bad here so I’m unsure why he retired after this. Tengkwa and End always work well together, whether as a team or against each-other. Kastelein breaks all convention and manages to hit End with a brainbuster after calling it out late in the match! On reflection maybe that’s why he retired – it’s never going to get better than that. The match ends when Tengkwa misses a moonsault, allowing SUWA to hit him with a pumphandle slam for the 1-2-3. Following the match, Tengkwa and End embrace Kastelein. This wasn’t bad.

MATCH SEVEN: wXw World Lightweight Title: PAC (c) vs. X-Dream

Geordie legend PAC is here now to defend against X-Dream, a fairly decent high flier from the German scene. X-Dream (like, extreme – get it?) was considered one of the better light heavyweights in Germany in the 2000s but he retired in 2011. Watching this match, it’s certainly the most ‘contemporary’ of the show so far at least in terms of style. There’s a segment when PAC can’t manage to fully hit anything on Dream – getting to the point where he attempts a frontal atomic drop but Dream counters it by landing in the splits. This infuriates PAC and makes him try a standing moonsault which he overcooks and completely crashes and burns.

Speaking of crashing and burning, both X-Dream and PAC take crazy bumps during this match, the first being when Dream does a spinning splash from the top turnbuckle crashing down to PAC on the outside.

The second coming mere moments later when PAC does a shooting star press from a small fenced off balcony. Anyway, not much more happens after this move as PAC brings Dream back to the ring and hits him with the Red Arrow for a successful defence. The crowd (and I) loved this match and it’s definitely the best match of the night.

MATCH EIGHT: wXw World Heavyweight Title: Ares (c) vs. James Mason

Our co-main event features the debuting James Mason challenging for the big belt which ultimately seems to be the crux of this show. It’s not very believable for him to be challenging for the belt but I understand there were several organisational issues.

However, despite this logic hole – the match is fine from a technical standpoint. Mason is sound as usual whilst Ares keeps up with him well. The match finishes when Ares struggles out of a cradle pin attempt and Ares hits Mason with Toblerone Driver. wXw co-owner Felix Kohlenberg put it best on twitter – “you can’t go wrong with these two but the way it was setup….or did anybody believe James Mason would win the title on his debut event?” Perhaps the biggest disaster from this show is that this is the only wXw appearance for Mason!

MAIN EVENT: wXw Tag Team Title: Absolute Andy & Josh Abercrombie (c) vs. Murat Bosporus & Wesley Croton

Our main event begins very suddenly, with both teams pummelling each other before the bell could even be rung. Bosporus and Croton get the upper hand before Jakobi’s men retreat into the audience for a breather. This doesn’t last long as they’re corralled back into the ring. Early on in the match Abercrombie clocks Croton with a running knee which seems to disorientate him – so naturally the next move he does is a head drop of some kind. Now, if Bosporus had tagged in and carried on the match it might have been saved but Croton struggles through the match for another nine minutes before he steps aside for his teammate. Bosporus comes in for a lukewarm tag which doesn’t achieve much before Croton submits Abercrombie for the win (and their titles back). This main event was pretty dreadful to be honest – Croton working for so much of the match with an impairment sunk this like an anchor.

Much of the problem with this show is that it seems a badly organised mess – the ring isn’t lit well and the booking is all over the place. There’s not really any criticism for the in-ring work though, it’s fairly on par for wXw in this time period.

Is this wXw’s worst show ever? Possibly.

Is this the worst show ever? Well, it was better than IPW Germany’s Wrestling Weltmeisterschaft at least.

wXw Back to the Roots VI is available to watch on wXwNOW.

✏️ @MikeKilby